5. Let us explore the world of the sender first.
6. Sometimes a sender can be understanding, kind and compassionate, He realizes that words and actions can hurt feelings and he knows that young people are sensitive about certain issues. This could be because he has also suffered at some time and has experienced the feelings that others are going through. So he has empathy with that person: He can stand in that person’s shoes. He is observant and can recognize when someone is hurting and can actually make it easier for that person by being tactful and supporting the victim. He is, in the final analysis, a leader who is prepared to go against the stream and take a stand on principle even at the cost of his popularity. He is prepared to speak out for those who cannot and to be the champion of the underdog.
7. Then there are those who enjoy to see others suffer; making them squirm, but worse, really hurting them. This hurt may be below the surface but it causes harm which may be lasting. Sadly the bully often is also in need of help and support and some positive feed-back. However, he relishes the notoriety that he receives and the fear that he injects into situations. He is hardly ever able to form good relationships because he has never tried. He believes, falsely, that showing a ‘soft’ side will make him look silly. If he tries to be polite, kind or helpful for a change, his life will change. He needs to believe that and to try it. Of course people might suspect him at first so he has to prove himself and not give up after the first rebuff. Generally a bully is a leader who is turning his talents and potential to evil and he needs to take control of his life.
8. Of course, we all know the opposite is true. Being compassionate is one of the greatest gifts of a person. A person with this gift gains respect for his behaviour, his responses and his reactions.
9. Next let us explore the world of the receiver.
10. He can be a victim or a survivor. A victim allows things to happen to him. He accepts them without question and almost believes that he deserves them. However, there are many ways of surviving. The best is to take a stand against being ‘abused’. Talk. Talk to the first person who will listen; tell someone about the help that the bully needs! Take HIS side and show compassion. Show that you feel HE needs help!
11. After all, you are better than he, not so. So why accept his bad behaviour?
12. Receivers can be proactive, positive and definite in their responses. They can talk in a quiet voice but get their point across. Thy can talk in a halting way but still get their point across.
They can talk in a shy way but still get their point across. They should take courage and talk to someone. The secret words are, “May I please speak to you?” The rest will follow.
13. In Grade 8 learners are growing up and feel things strongly. This is natural. Keep it natural. Stick to good principles; be true to yourself; make real friends – then life will be for living!
14. Stake your claim!